无节操友情翻译~




If the images have a dark background and everyone has tortured expressions on their faces, it's Titian. 

如果背景一片黑暗，画中人物个个痛不欲生 --- 此乃提香。



If everyone in the paintings has enormous asses, then it's Rubens.

如果画中人物个个都丰乳肥臀 --- 此乃鲁本斯。



If all the men look like cow-eyed curly-haired women, it's Caravaggio.

如果画中男人都像目如牛眼，满头卷发的娘们 --- 此乃卡拉瓦乔。



If the paintings have tons of little people in them but otherwise seem normal, it's Bruegel.

如果画中密密麻麻都是小人，但除此之外还算正常 --- 此乃勃鲁盖尔。



If the paintings have lots of little people in them but also have a ton of crazy bullshit, it's Bosch.

如果画中密密麻麻都是小人，但还有其他一堆乱七八糟狗屁不通的东西 --- 此乃波希。



If everyone looks like hobos illuminated only by a dim streetlamp, it's Rembrandt. 

如果画中的人都像是流浪大叔百年孤寂地站在惨淡的街灯下 --- 此乃伦布兰特。



If the painting could easily have a few chubby Cupids or sheep added (or already has them), it's Boucher.

如果画中可以随处加上几只肥胖的丘比特或是小肥羊而毫无违和感（或是已经有这些肥胖物种）--- 此乃布歇。



If everyone is beautiful, naked, and stacked, it's Michelangelo. 

如果画中人个个是赤身裸体的男神，有著惊为天人的六块腹肌 ---- 此乃米开朗基罗。



If you see a ballerina, it's Degas.

只要有芭蕾娘，就是德加。



If everything is highly-contrasted and sharp, sort of bluish, and everyone has gaunt bearded faces, it's El Greco.

如果画中人有著鲜明的色彩对比，脸色发青，营养不良的脸上长着脏不拉几的大胡渣 --- 此乃格列柯。




If everyone - including the women - looks like Putin, then it's van Eyck.

如果画中人物，包括娘们，都长得像普金  --- 此乃范艾克。
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