盖茨夫妇离婚告诉我们，既是伴侣又是事业伙伴的关系，要维系一辈子不容易。那么，维系这种关系有什么诀窍？



It’s a familiar story. Two people meet at work. They fall in love, start a family and keep working together. But as years become decades, they drift apart. The break-up is complicated, inevitable, painful, but liberating perhaps. It would hardly be newsworthy — unless a $124bn fortune is involved and you are co-leaders of the world’s most powerful philanthropic foundation. 6park.com
这是个常见的故事。两个人相识于工作中。他们相爱，组成家庭，继续一起工作。但随着时间流逝，几十年过去，他们渐行渐远。分手是复杂的、不可避免的、痛苦的，但也许这让两人感到解脱。这几乎没有什么新闻价值——除非其中涉及到1240亿美元的财富，而两人是世界上最有影响力的慈善基金的联席领导人。 6park.com
While it’s hard to know what leads a couple to end their marriage, in their public statement Bill and Melinda Gates drew on familiar language. They no longer believe that they “can grow together” but will continue to “work together to shape and approve foundation strategies”. That is not uncommon for working couples who separate. While they might no longer love each other, they still love their shared projects. It’s the professional version of remaining committed to doing the best for the children. 6park.com
虽然很难了解导致一对夫妻离婚的原因，但比尔(Bill)和梅琳达•盖茨(Melinda Gates)在公开声明中的说法是人们耳熟能详的。两人认为他们不再能够“一起成长”，但会继续“一起工作，以制定和批准基金会的战略”。共事的伴侣分手时这样安排并非罕见。虽然两人也许不再相爱，但他们仍爱着他们共同努力的事业。这就像分手的夫妻依然尽力为孩子做最好的安排，只不过这里把孩子换成了事业。 6park.com
The Gates’s announcement is a reminder that keeping a relationship and two careers going over a lifetime is not easy. It also shows that the end of one relationship need not be the end of another. However, just as a marriage vow is an expression of commitment, but not a guarantee, so is a vow of professional collaboration. Sustaining both takes work. 6park.com
盖茨夫妇的离婚声明提醒了人们，既是伴侣又是事业伙伴的关系要维系一辈子不容易。这也显示出，感情的结束不必导致事业的结束。然而，正如婚姻誓言是承诺而非保证一样，事业伙伴的誓言也是如此。维持两种誓言都需要努力。



While researching a book on the lives of working couples, I spoke to many who chose to start a business or do charity work to spend “active time” together as they grew older, in the way that others pick up tennis or golf. For these duos, work is often a source of friction and delight. The pride of keeping it all going, the little triumphs, the conflicts and trade-offs are even more intense when the partners work together in a shared venture, or in the same team or organisation. If you are in one of those couples, there are steps that you can take to maximise your chances of thriving in both your relationship and your careers. 6park.com
在为一本关于共事伴侣的书做研究时，我采访过许多这样的夫妻：他们在步入老年之际选择开一家公司或做慈善工作，以便“积极”地一起度过老年时光，而不是像其他人那些选择开始打网球和高尔夫。对这些伴侣而言，工作常常同时带来摩擦和愉悦。当夫妻为同一份事业努力、或在同一个团队或组织中工作时，维持一切正常运转的骄傲、一些小胜利、冲突和妥协都会加倍。如果你和你的伴侣是这种情况，你可以采取以下这些措施，让你的婚姻和你们的事业更容易成功。 6park.com
First, accept that boundaries will be fluid. You will break into a conversation about work over a family game of Cluedo. I found that one of the reasons couples enjoy working together is that they feel more understood, more in sync and more able to be a sounding board for each other. All that can be messy. Best to allow the messiness in, deal with it and then get back to the task at hand. 6park.com
首先，接受一个现实：没有什么固定的边界。你们可能在一起玩《妙探寻凶》(Cluedo)游戏的时候忽然谈起了工作。我发现，伴侣喜欢一起工作的原因之一，就是他们会感觉更能互相理解、更步调一致、更能倾听彼此的话。所有这些都可能造成混乱。最佳做法是允许混乱出现，解决它们，然后回到手头的事情上。



Second, make sure that your shared work feeds your growth as a couple. Relationships thrive when they allow both partners to grow. Careers thrive when people grow within them. One of the most important efforts a couple can make is working to keep “supporting symmetry”, that is, ensuring that both partners get equal amounts of support from the other. 6park.com
其次，确保你们共同的工作能帮助你们作为伴侣共同成长。两个人在感情中都能成长时，这段感情才会成功。人在事业中获得成长时，这份事业才会兴旺。伴侣能做的最重要的事，就是“在支持上对等”，也就是说，保证双方都从对方那里获得等量的支持。 6park.com
Third, remember that some distance is the fuel of desire. Being together all the time, as many couples who work together are, may make partners feel close, but it is unlikely to make them hungry for each other. Engineering time apart, both inside and outside of work, is vital. 6park.com
第三，距离产生欲望。每时每刻都在一起——许多共事伴侣都是这样——也许能让他们感到亲密，但这不太可能让他们渴求彼此。在工作内外都要安排别离的时间，这很关键。



With all the will and work in the world, it is not always possible to keep a relationship alive for a lifetime. Ending a romantic relationship is fraught for most couples; for those who work together, it is particularly so. Will acrimony and resentment, or just the wish to move on, spill into the workplace? Those who want to remain working partners will need to continue to honour each other’s professional growth, begin to move from fluid to solid boundaries and protect those around them from their personal struggles. 6park.com
就算再想、就算再努力，两个人也可能无法恩爱一辈子。对大多数伴侣而言，结束一段感情都是麻烦的；对那些一起工作的伴侣而言，更是如此。两人间的争吵和愤恨，或仅仅是开启新生活的愿望，是否会影响两人在工作中的合作？如果两人希望继续一起工作，那么就需要继续尊重彼此在事业中的成长，将原本流动的边界固定下来，并避免两人间的恩怨影响到周围的人。 6park.com
Will it be possible for the Gates’s to keep their work relationship alive after the break-up of their romantic one? The story of Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana suggests so. The two designers became a couple in their early twenties and soon founded their eponymous brand. Although they broke up in 2003, they remain Dolce & Gabbana at work and remain committed to running one of the world’s most successful fashion houses. 6park.com
盖茨夫妇能否在婚姻结束后继续保持工作上的合作？多梅尼科•多尔切(Domenico Dolce)和斯特凡诺•加巴纳(Stefano Gabbana)的故事表明，这有可能。这两名设计师在二十出头时成为一对，并很快建立了以两人名字命名的品牌。尽管两人在2003年分手，但他们让杜嘉班纳(Dolce & Gabbana)保持运转，并继续致力于运营这家世界上最成功的时尚公司之一。