回答: 看了忍不住重写了，sorry... 由 别想多了 于 2018-07-24 0:19

"I don't realize you have to stand up throughout the whole concert. "
-- Again, usually people don't say "I don't realize".  You can say "I didn't realize" or "You don't realize" or "We don't realize".  Of course the last one has a totally different meaning, which I'm sure you have no idea.

"Everyone stands up.  You can't sit down!  "
-- Very poorly written.  This is 3rd grade writing and not the top notch even among the 3rd graders.

"Your legs get stiff and sore in no time.  "
-- Very strange statement.  Not clear to the readers why someone's legs would get stiff in no time.  It's not in line with common sense and there's no explanation to that.

"It's not just the music that is loud, which is already barely bearable, but the sea of screaming drowning the concert hall that seems it would have inflicted permanent hearing loss on your poor ears."
-- Now you are just throwing out words you don't know the meaning of.  You may want to look up the word "hall" before you put it down anywhere.  Remember, there's no rain inside a hall.  Plus, the whole sentence is disjointed, and grammatically incorrect.

"They literally scream for the whole hours long show."
-- You may want to consider using past tense at this particular moment.


"Then, the rain.  It's not a drizzle.  It's not the hazy romantic light caressing droplets that I would have longed, but it's the cold hard pouring of heavy shower.  "
-- "light caressing droplets" is very odd.  Are the droplets caressing light?  Dramatically inconsistent with the whole piece.  You didn't try at all the whole time, but then all of sudden, you tried too hard.

"It's wet, it's windy, and it's cold.  "
-- You changed the sequence of my words for no particular reason.  My original sentence implies a causality: because it's windy, therefore you get wet, and therefore you get cold.  You obviously didn't understand.  A seasoned reader would have got it, which you are not.


"Not the best for a concert.  Yet despite all that, the screaming, at the top of 80 thousand pairs of lungs, pierce through the wet blanket of rain and roar away any doubt for an exciting night!"
-- Again, very poorly written, appallingly awkward, and grammatically incorrect.  The "screaming" is in singular form.  Hence, you either need to put in past tense or you need to put "s" there.  You have done neither.

I'm certain you don't understand my comments at the moment.  If you apply yourself from now on, you may start to understand in 15 years or so.